Once again I did not receive the Oscar for Best in the Field of Nagging.
Before you get your britches in a bunch because of the negativity the word may connote, the nags of their day – may I remind you – were known as philosophers and were greatly revered.
Yes! Plato was a nag, too. In fact, Plato and the Platitudes were the first rock/advice-giving group in history.
Did he even mention that if you ate moo shu pork, you would bloat the next day? I would have told you.
Nagging is simply giving information. For example, when I suggest you avoid an area because of the potholes, I am giving you the facts as I know them. Since this is America, you have the option of not listening to me and squishing your tires and spending a day at Acme Automotive. It is all about choice.
My Oscar losses started many years ago when I listened to those new age suggestions to “let everyone be” and “do their own thang.”
It was not natural behavior for me. My life fell apart that nag-less year. I didn’t tell anyone what to do or give advice, so every unuttered word went straight to my hips.
Being frustrated, I started celebrating Fat Tuesday every day of the week. Then I moved on to Taco Tuesday Wednesday Thursday … well you know the rest.
The kids didn’t clean their room that year so our home was condemned by the board of health.
One son refused to get a haircut. I said nothing. The principal legally changed his name to Mary Elizabeth, so when he was drafted in the Army … oh please, don’t ask.
So the Oscar for Best Nag in 2023 once again … wasn’t me.
I’m usually nonviolent, but do I have to slap someone to get attention?
To nags and every boss, editor, taxman, crossing guard and those on the board of advisers in our community, everywhere all at once … there’s always next year.
In the meantime, sit up straight and eat your veggies. By the way, speaking of which, ya know, it wouldn’t hurt ya to take a nag to lunch sometime.
Humor columnist and Laguna…
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