This is So Chic, Very Chic, our sister publication PAPER’s examination of Bravo’s sprawling cohort of fashion obsessives. From haute couture to TJ Maxx, they’ve literally worn it all. Sometimes they stunt, sometimes they turn the look, and sometimes they burn holes in retinas my ophthalmologist says might never heal.
There is tragedy afoot on Vanderpump Rules. I’m not talking about Ariana Madix’s triumphant success after Tom Sandoval burned their world down. I wasn’t gesturing at Scheana Marie’s inability to think much bigger than herself, even if I will always love her, or Tom Schwartz’s desperate new situationship, or James Kennedy’s teensy tiny house on the tarmac of Bob Hope Airport. In fact, Katie Maloney didn’t even enter the equation, nor did Lisa Vanderpump’s chic new genetically modified puppy.
The great tragedy of Vanderpump Rules season 11 is the clothes — clothes so impossibly cheap and flimsy, they mirror, in a myriad haunting ways, the artifice of the reality television landscape they’ve been birthed into.
There are moments, in confessionals and various scenes, where the clothes of the VanderpumpRules cast appear to be made from parchment paper. Or worse, the crinkly wrapping of the toilet paper in the employee bathroom. I fear for these clothes, when the cast mates of this show wildly gesticulate or get in verbal altercations. I fear that with too much force or pressure, they’d crumble into microplastic nothingness.
Speaking of microplastics, have there been any long term studies about the effects of long-term exposure on reality television stars? I read a tweet from some account that said microscopic particles are found in our bloodstreams now. Don’t quote me on that — and I won’t google it for accuracy — but if that’s true, maybe someone should do a head scan on Tom Sandoval to make sure his acrylic nail polish hasn’t somehow leaked into his brain and caused a blockage.
Summer House, another balm in…
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